I met a resident of my back yard today - a brownish greyish furry thing. It hid under my porch and I poked it with a spoon. It was an exciting afternoon.

Let me back up.
    

BEEP BEEP

Groggy, I lifted my head from the pillow and blinked in the darkness. Did I just hear that? I reached for the remote and woke up the cable, which had gone into sleep mode. 1:34 a.m.

BEEP BEEP

Wide awake now. No second guessing that sound this time. My alarm.

My home alarm is beeping. Someone is in the house.

On the floor next to the bed were the jeans I'd worn earlier. I slid out of bed and pulled them on.
    

Sorry - I was MIA there for awhile. Part of it was being really busy (I finished the lawn finally, two days and three hours later), some of it was being up in Massachusetts (attended my 3rd Red Sox game of the season), and then a little bit of it was a malfunction with my blog (mysteriously resolved tonight).

And then - a significant part? I've been feeling very, very unhappy... lonely... overwhelmed... powerless... exhausted... alone. Everything is falling apart around me.

And even more frustrating (frightening?) is the realization that my insomnia is coming back. I can't even escape into sleep. I don't understand it (I kind of understand it). I'm so tired of laying in bed, exhausted and staring at the ceiling, unable to fall asleep.

If I cry any more my lungs might explode, or my head. Maybe my heart. I just don't know what else to do or say.