when all the cats move back into the bedroom at night.

Last night I woke up with a cat on either side of me, pinning me down under the blanket. I was also so hot I was almost on fire - little furry furnaces! It's hard to be mad at them when they are looking so sweet and angelic. I can almost convice myself they're snuggling because they love me, not because they are cold.

And --- I had to scrape my car for the first time this season! I'm really not prepared for this weather. Doesn't it feel like it just snuck up this year? And wouldn't you know it, I was running late for drill (of course) and I couldn't find my scraper. Thankfully the frost wasn't very think; I used my license to scrape a quick porthole and jumped into the freezing car.

But it's ok, because in a few short days I will be standing in some sunny sand, looking out over the water with the people most dear to me. In addition to this creeping chilly weather, I hope to leave behind some of my cares in this lonely state of NJ.

but then it started pouring.

...Who am I kidding, I wasn't going to rake today.

Looking out at the sea of fallen leaves covering my yard is horribly depressing. And worse - our neighbors raked their yard earlier this week, so now we're jerks if we don't rake ours pretty soon: a good windy day and our leaves will be in their yard. Maybe this is the year I figure out how to use our leaf blower...

What the heck?!

So we spent the day inside, snuggling the baby and making delicious things in the oven. Theseus made a huge batch of his super-yummy granola (way better than any store-bought kind) and I finally roasted all the spaghetti squash seeds that had been waiting patiently in the fridge. The entire house smelled wonderful. So cozy.

Theseus also got some homework done and I did a couple loads of laundry. This evening, now that the baby has had a bath and is tucked in (until his 10 p.m. feeding), we're hanging out on the couch in front of the television. I don't feel like I accomplished very much, but that's ok. I've got big plans for tomorrow:

- making these cookies
- finishing my study sheet for Bio Lab
- begin study sheet for Chem
- vacuuming?
- begin Christmas shopping (online)

What an exciting life I lead! This post just about put me to sleep. I'll try to be more interesting tomorrow.

I love this weather.

I have some photos to post for you, but not as many as I'd hoped, and I can't post them right now as I have too much to do and not enough time to do it and here I am procrastinating anyway. Hopefully tomorrow, while it's raining, I will have enough time to sit down and download my photo card. I also have to work on completing some Halloween projects, so we'll see how far I get.

I don't have a lot of time, but I just wanted to type a couple lines for you to let you all know I'm back in NJ and feeling warm and happy. The time in NY with Mer was wonderful but stressful at the same time. Austin travels very well and he loves people and isn't afraid of anything, but doing all the carrying and feeding and scheduling and changing and soothing by myself was tiring. Mer helped as much as she could (she is such an amazing friend to me, she and J both) but I missed the wordless communication I have with Theseus. He starts unsnapping an outfit while I get a diaper and wipes. He carries the baby while I get the diaper bag. I set the baby up in his high chair while Theseus gets a bib. Two cogs moving together.

I came home to a really cool Halloween display in our yard (with lights!) and rearranged furniture inside the house. Theseus had also begun decorating inside, cleaned up the living and dining rooms, taken the air conditioner out of the bedroom, changed the sheets and remade the bed, separated the laundry by color (!) and washed most of it, disassembled and boxed up the baby accessories we no longer use, and had lunch waiting for me when I got back to the house.

He separated. the laundry. by color. I nearly fell over.

So it ended up being a little more stressful and tiring than I'd anticipated, but I'm glad I went away for a few days. Three nights apart let us both recharge. Next time, though, he gets the baby. :)

I'll write more about my time in NY tomorrow. Now: time to study!

I've been away - you probably noticed. A number of trains were rushing toward me and after the resulting, continuous, obvious train wreck, I mentally walked away. I had no other choice. I'd never felt so overwhelmed, so completely drained, so physically tired, so naggingly sick.
    

Some facts:
- Austin will be 6 months old next Friday
- My breastfeeding goal was 6 months
- The fall semester of school has started
- Theseus' school schedule requires Austin to be in day care twice a week (9 hours total)
    

I have a long post in my head, waiting patiently for my hands to type it out. The last few days Theseus' laptop cord was broken and I hate my own laptop, so I couldn't post anything. Tonight I finally turned on my laptop (we have a new cord for him, also) but my throat is KILLING me and I just want to go to sleep.

This 4-day weekend went by entirely too quickly and I am dreading going back to work tomorrow. Also tomorrow is the beginning of my school-week, so I'll leave at 8 a.m. for work and won't return home from school until 10:30 p.m. Then right to sleep, to go back to work fro 8 a.m. the next morning. I have school three days a week, and only Tuesday is that bad (home by 7:15 the other two days), but still - a long day for me, and a long day away from Austin.

Rushing through these classes while he's still young and won't remember - this is the right thing to do, isn't it?

:(
:(
:(

It smells wonderful this evening.

It was warmer today than it has been, so I opened a few windows and welcomed in an autumn breeze. Now it is dark and someone across the lake is burning wood. This rural, smokey smell mixed with cooling air makes me miss home so bad I can feel it, as if my homesickness were a thing I could touch and hold.

The summer bugs have not died yet (the open window also brings in their chorus), but autumn is fully here. The leaves are changing. Halloween is in three weeks. I've never thought of this season as a lonely time, but I suppose it is, or maybe I'm just more aware of it this year: alone, some 6,400 miles from Theseus.

I don't mean to be depressing. This season just also makes me spend a lot of time inside my head.
    

...than a hot cup of tea, a soft blanket and a purring cat in your lap?