That is all.

:(

Two weeks ago was spring break - we are over the halfway mark of the semester. As I type this, we have 7 weeks left of school, including finals week.

7 weeks seems so far away when I think about all the work that stands between me and the end of the semester. I have chapters to read, papers to write, problems to solve. I'm rapidly losing energy and motivation. Doesn't it seem like this point comes earlier and earlier each semester? I so look forward to the summer with my light schedule of only 3 classes, the least I've taken since I began. And then in the fall I'll be off orders and can focus my attention on Drexel. And on the rest of my life...

When I say this isn't easy, please understand what an understatement that is. This is the hardest thing I have ever done - harder than basic training, harder than the deployment, harder than carrying a baby for 9 months. It sucks. I am constantly tired and worried about not having enough time in the day to do everything I have to do (I never have enough time). I am always stealing bits of time to finish up other tasks, like folding laundry during my lunch break or cramming for an exam while stopped at a red light. I miss the baby and Theseus terribly and hate that I am missing out on so much of their lives right now. I can never look forward to the end of the work day because I don't get to go home; instead I'm on the way to school, eating a granola bar in my car, alone.

I'm just feeling sorry for myself and I apologize that I've made you read this little pity party. I'll feel better soon. In 7 weeks... but who's counting?

Yesterday we had the baby's 1 year photos done. I was a little worried, considering what a disaster it was trying to get the holiday ones done, but he was great and I'm really happy with the way they turned out. We ordered a whole bunch of prints and will be mailing them out to everyone once they come in.

In other photo news, Weebly was having issues last night so I wasn't able to post yesterday's photo until this morning. You can see it here. Now that I've gotten past feeling like the photo-of-the-day is a chore (ok, I sometimes still feel like this), I am really enjoying this project. It's nice to touch the camera everyday, and I feel like I'm getting better. The lack of obvious subjects around the house forces me to be more creative. I do look forward to the end, though - we'll have a great collection of photos that tell the story of 2012.

Ok, have to jump in the shower and get to work. Did I mention that this week is spring break and we don't have any classes?? Theseus and I are going on a date tonight while Austin is with the babysitter. Magical.

This song makes me cry.

You can read the lyrics here, but they are not hard to understand if you listen.

Theseus has drill this weekend and I have a ceremony to photograph on Sunday, so he's in MA with the baby and I'm here in NJ by myself.

So, party time, right?! Hardly. It's not even 8 p.m. and I can hardly keep my eyes open to type this. I'm going to take a cup of tea and my Kindle Fire to bed in a little while, probably read for 15 minutes and fall asleep before my tea cools off. What an exciting life I lead.

My plans for tomorrow are even more heart-stopping: laundry, cleaning the guest bathroom, dropping some unwanted stuff off at the Goodwill. Someone should develop a movie about my life. Blockbuster for sure.

Wish Theseus and Austin didn't have to go to MA this weekend - or wish I could go with them. The house is lonely and kind of scary when they aren't here. Every little creak or thump and my brain screams "MURDER! WITH A CHAINSAW! NO ONE WILL HEAR YOU SCREAM!" I set the security alarm and sleep with a knife, but it doesn't really help. Plus there is a ghost that lives here and sometimes does creepy things that I don't appreciate, like turning on the ceiling fan in the living room or opening all the cabinet doors in the kitchen or eating the rest of the chips (oh wait, that last one was me). I hate being here alone. No husband to snuggle, no baby to snuggle, no one to share a Saturday adventure with. Sucks.

I'm done feeling sorry for myself - now it's time to grip a kitchen knife in rigid terror for the next 12 hours. :(