And that's all I really want to say about it.

- Antiope

Not much to say tonight - tummy full of portabello raviolis and pleasantly sleepy.

J invited me to go into NYC with her on Wednesday, to "eat our way across Manhattan, and maybe do something cultural like visit a museum in between looking for places to eat." Sounds pretty awesome to me!

I'll try to think of something more interesting to write about tomorrow. Good night!

- Antiope

I was trying to think of something to write about tonight, and then my cats went and gave me an idea: THE SNAKE THEY JUST FOUND IN THE BASEMENT.

How. Did a snake. Get into. The basement.

Cleared housing, cleared admin, got my DD 214 - I'm free! now what?

- Antiope

She gave me my plaque, wrapped in gold paper, and suddenly her face was red and her eyes were wet and she was turning away from me.

July 25. 5:45 p.m. 87 degrees. Light wind from the west.

Demobing today wasn't all that bad. I mostly drove around in my car collecting signatures. I got a lot of "first you need to go see..." but I didn't care - I have two little hurdles to get over next week - clearing housing and clearing admin - and then I'm DONE.

This weekend will be epic - for you guys, too!

Hahahaha... you don't even know why I'm laughing. :)

- Antiope

But at least today is OVER.

Tomorrow should be less frustrating (I hope!) and should involve less walking in the 95 degree sunshine. Despite the (insane) hoops I had to jump through today, I managed to clear the medical section in the morning (this included convincing a major and a colonel to let me have my life back, thankyouverymuch) and sat through 4 hours of briefings in the afternoon.

Tomorrow they will teach us how to be people again. "Don't drink too much. Don't beat your kids. Don't kill your spouse." and so on. Yeah, yeah, I get it. These things happen. I just don't think any amount of briefings will stop someone from doing something they've set their mind on.

On a happier note, I'll be traveling back to MA for the weekend - my mom gathered a ton of crap for a yardsale and my sister and I agreed to sit behind the tables and wait for people to buy it. Should be a good weekend! And I'll get to spend some time with my little niece. :)

Suddenly overwhelmed by sleep (this never happens) - good night.

- Antiope

Because tomorrow I start demobilizing.

I won't lie, I've learned a lot in my two years with this unit, but I have to wonder if it's been at the sake of my happiness and, honestly, my health. I wasn't exaggerating when I said that place is (those people are) toxic. Hopefully in a couple weeks I'll feel better. I know I need to spend some time meditating and trying to release all the stress and frustration that has built up in my neck, back and shoulders. I've found a yoga studio not far from my house, maybe that will help, too.

Talked to Theseus for awhile today (30 whole minutes!) and got off the phone feeling really sad. I miss our little life together, with our tofu and tomato plants and bold paint colors and compost bin. We've put together such a wonderful string of love and light... it's hard to be here in the cold silence, in this empty space without him.

He is here in every room of this house, I can smell him in every piece of fabric. I left his blue towel hanging right where he left it, and until he gets home, there will be a bottle of water on his bedside table, waiting for him. These are things that make me feel a little better - sometimes, for a second, I can pretend I'm waiting for him to get home from work. But mostly, looking at his towel every morning when I get ready for work makes me intensely sad. I don't know what is harder - to leave the towel or to put it away.

It's not the towel, really. It's being in our home without my husband.

I can't wait until he gets home. :(

- Antiope