Theseus has drill this weekend and I have a ceremony to photograph on Sunday, so he's in MA with the baby and I'm here in NJ by myself.

So, party time, right?! Hardly. It's not even 8 p.m. and I can hardly keep my eyes open to type this. I'm going to take a cup of tea and my Kindle Fire to bed in a little while, probably read for 15 minutes and fall asleep before my tea cools off. What an exciting life I lead.

My plans for tomorrow are even more heart-stopping: laundry, cleaning the guest bathroom, dropping some unwanted stuff off at the Goodwill. Someone should develop a movie about my life. Blockbuster for sure.

Wish Theseus and Austin didn't have to go to MA this weekend - or wish I could go with them. The house is lonely and kind of scary when they aren't here. Every little creak or thump and my brain screams "MURDER! WITH A CHAINSAW! NO ONE WILL HEAR YOU SCREAM!" I set the security alarm and sleep with a knife, but it doesn't really help. Plus there is a ghost that lives here and sometimes does creepy things that I don't appreciate, like turning on the ceiling fan in the living room or opening all the cabinet doors in the kitchen or eating the rest of the chips (oh wait, that last one was me). I hate being here alone. No husband to snuggle, no baby to snuggle, no one to share a Saturday adventure with. Sucks.

I'm done feeling sorry for myself - now it's time to grip a kitchen knife in rigid terror for the next 12 hours. :(

- Antiope

 
 
...I will learn how to knit.
...I will walk across a stage in a cap and gown.
...I will perfect our homemade tomato sauce recipe.
...I will have a job that isn't connected to the military.
...I will see Austin off to school, and be there when he gets home.
...I will have the time to paint my toenails.
...I will grow my own peppermint and brew my own tea.
...I will be able to enjoy a show in NYC with my husband.
...I will feel the sun on my shoulders in a perfect heirloom garden.
...I will take classes for pleasure instead of necessity.
...I will know this struggle has been worth it.

Someday I will breathe  easily.

- Antiope

 
 
Because I've been too sick/busy/apathetic to shave them.

It's true.
     
 
 
Just a quick note, because I'm exhausted and my eyes are burning.

I updated my photo blog! Also, on the first day of each month, I am going to change out the Home photo and add a new self-portrait on the About page. So I did that today, too. This way, the Home page will be seasonal and I'll get to see myself age a month at a time for a year.

That is all. :)

- Antiope

 

Zen

01/28/2012

1 Comment

 
We survived the first complete week of school. The baby is finally feeling better and loves his Monday night babysitter. I have worked out my place in my new unit. Theseus received a job inquiry from a firehouse near our school. T came to visit for the weekend. I've lost 8 lbs since the New Year. The Patriots are going to the Super Bowl.

I have found my happy place. :)

- Antiope

 
 
The spring semester started last Friday. Cue the panic attacks.

Looking ahead at all the work I need to do between now and May... I just want to cry. Six classes is too much, on top of working full time (with no concrete hours) and caring for a 10-month old. The worst thing, though, is that I didn't really have a choice. In order to get into Drexel's biological sciences program this fall, I had to have a heavy load this semester. If I didn't (and tried to spread out the classes), I would set myself a whole year behind, as they only accept applicants for the program for the fall. So then the employment/school situation wouldn't line up: instead of going to school full time during the day in the fall, I'd have to find another job and wouldn't be able to rely on the GI Bill for financial help because I wouldn't be in school full time. Does that make your head hurt? Because mine hurts from typing it.

Theseus keeps telling me that we have to work hard and be kind of miserable now so we don't have to be miserable for our whole lives. That's not so comforting when you are staring crushing misery in the face.

:(

- Antiope

 
 
but then my internet browser reloaded itself and I lost everything I had typed. Gahhhhh!!!!

The short version:

- school starts in two days
- I am taking six classes this semester
- we finally found a babysitter for Austin for Monday nights when we both have class
- work is going great
- I made a friend on Freecycle who gave me a bunch of 18 month boy clothes and a baby gate
- we are signing Austin up for swim lessons (more like water familiarization)
- he has three bottom teeth and two top teeth
- Theseus has been sick for the last two weeks :(
- while sick, he managed to perfect homemade sweet potato fries
- I love seltzer water
- our seeds arrived and we are about a week away from starting them

Sorry that is unorganized and brief, but I'm frustrated that my long awesome post got deleted and can't bring myself to retype the whole thing.

Check out today's photo!

Ok bed.

- Antiope

 
 
So - I've been trolling through the internet, checking out other people who are taking 366 days of photos like I am. And you know? I'm doing a pretty lame job. Granted, I am not a professional photographer, but I'd say I'm not exactly an amateur either. I can do better than what I've been putting up. 

Oh and my accessories came in today: a 57'' tripod, a little spider tripod and a monopod. I used the tripod for today's photo; having something to stabilize the camera allows you to take photos in low light without having to use the flash. My D200 has a flash attached to it, but it's not very good. I mean, it's ok, it does its job - kind of like stock car speakers. They work fine unless you want to get crazy. Ideally I'd like to get a Speedlight (my camera is compatible with external flashes), but then I'll still have to reteach myself how to use it. All of the photos in my photo blog have been taken without a flash, except for the faucet. Using a flash is introducing a whole other art form that I'm not very good at.

But anyway, blah blah camera stuff, right? The point is: I have been putting up bland photos and I know I can do better.

Ok, Patriots game. More tomorrow.

- Antiope

 
 
The wind today was incredible! I heard it trying to tear the roof off while we were in the attic, and later it howled down the chimney and startled the cats. It was too windy to go outside and work on the yard (I think the wind would have sliced my face off) so Theseus and I stayed inside and puttered around the house.

We lowered the platform on the baby's crib and I washed all his bedding in both of his beds. Then we sorted all his toys and packed up the ones he won't be able to use for awhile - up in the attic they went. We also put all the boxes of clothes he's outgrown up there, too (don't look at me like that!).

Once we got rolling, made a good dent in the storage area that used to be our spare bedroom. You can see the bed again! Apologies to anyone who has had the misfortune of sleeping in there. It's almost habitable again. Sorry! I want to eventually get some stuff up on the walls and some curtains on the windows. You know. Make it look like it's a part of the house.

So now we have a mountain of stuff to take to Goodwill. It makes me happy to clear out all the junk we don't need anymore... I just have a hard time getting started sometimes; I get overwhelmed easily. And if Theseus isn't also in the mood to clean - forget it. There is nothing as demotivating as a husband with his butt parked on the couch.

Oh! While you're here: check out today's photo! Don't forget, you can click the photo to see a larger size.

That's it. Good night!

- Antiope

 
 
I started this post, then saved it as a draft... came back to it, added some, saved it again... came back a day later, deleted some, got distracted... here I am four days later. I have nothing of value to add at this point and I lost my train of thought so here is my crappy, disjointed post. I just want it to go away. :(