Talked to Theseus for awhile today (30 whole minutes!) and got off the phone feeling really sad. I miss our little life together, with our tofu and tomato plants and bold paint colors and compost bin. We've put together such a wonderful string of love and light... it's hard to be here in the cold silence, in this empty space without him.

He is here in every room of this house, I can smell him in every piece of fabric. I left his blue towel hanging right where he left it, and until he gets home, there will be a bottle of water on his bedside table, waiting for him. These are things that make me feel a little better - sometimes, for a second, I can pretend I'm waiting for him to get home from work. But mostly, looking at his towel every morning when I get ready for work makes me intensely sad. I don't know what is harder - to leave the towel or to put it away.

It's not the towel, really. It's being in our home without my husband.

I can't wait until he gets home. :(

- Antiope

 


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