Things I never want to hear again:

- Yes, but, how are you doing?

- Well, you both knew this was going to happen eventually.

- He'll be back before you know it.

And possibly the most infuriating,

- He did it when you were deployed.
   
My husband's send off ceremony and the first official day of his deployment was Wednesday, but he didn't actually leave for his mobilization station until this morning. That means we had three full days in limbo, nowhere. Should we cry? Should we act like this is any other week? What should we talk about? We spent a lot of time sitting in silence, thinking about all the things we wanted to say but couldn't.

I can't wait to get home and get some laundry done. The cats are probably pissed. I wonder if my plants are dead.

I can only speculate what he was thinking, but if it was anything like what I was thinking, this time three years ago when I was the one preparing to leave, it was something like

Did I pack enough shampoo? This will be the last chance I'll get to have cheesecake for a long time. Is it time yet...?

We are 24 (me) and 26 (him), married for 4 years in October. This is my first experience as the one left behind, which is a terrible way to look at it, I know, but I can't help but feel that way. He left this morning and I drove 300 miles back home to our empty house and cried until I threw up. It's getting dark now and the thought of climbing into our bed is making me feel sick again. I think I'll sleep in the spare room tonight.

More tomorrow.

- Antiope

 


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