Two weeks ago was spring break - we are over the halfway mark of the semester. As I type this, we have 7 weeks left of school, including finals week.

7 weeks seems so far away when I think about all the work that stands between me and the end of the semester. I have chapters to read, papers to write, problems to solve. I'm rapidly losing energy and motivation. Doesn't it seem like this point comes earlier and earlier each semester? I so look forward to the summer with my light schedule of only 3 classes, the least I've taken since I began. And then in the fall I'll be off orders and can focus my attention on Drexel. And on the rest of my life...

When I say this isn't easy, please understand what an understatement that is. This is the hardest thing I have ever done - harder than basic training, harder than the deployment, harder than carrying a baby for 9 months. It sucks. I am constantly tired and worried about not having enough time in the day to do everything I have to do (I never have enough time). I am always stealing bits of time to finish up other tasks, like folding laundry during my lunch break or cramming for an exam while stopped at a red light. I miss the baby and Theseus terribly and hate that I am missing out on so much of their lives right now. I can never look forward to the end of the work day because I don't get to go home; instead I'm on the way to school, eating a granola bar in my car, alone.

I'm just feeling sorry for myself and I apologize that I've made you read this little pity party. I'll feel better soon. In 7 weeks... but who's counting?

- Antiope

 
 
but then it started pouring.

...Who am I kidding, I wasn't going to rake today.

Looking out at the sea of fallen leaves covering my yard is horribly depressing. And worse - our neighbors raked their yard earlier this week, so now we're jerks if we don't rake ours pretty soon: a good windy day and our leaves will be in their yard. Maybe this is the year I figure out how to use our leaf blower...

- Antiope

 
 
and completely derailed my train of thought. :/

[This is the worst blog post in the history of blog posts. Sorry.]

- Antiope

 

Birthday

08/08/2011

1 Comment

 
So, I'm 26 now.

Yuck.

:(

- Antiope

 

Work

06/26/2011

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I need a new job before my head explodes. Any suggestions? I'm thinking I could be a rodeo clown, a meth dealer (there's probably a recipe on the internet, right?), the person who rings the bell for the Salvation Army at Christmastime, a hand model for gloves being sold online, or a cat whisperer. I'm really only qualified to be the last one.

:/

I really do hate my job, though. That part wasn't a joke.

- Antiope

 
 
So - Theseus is out right now, taking the civil service exam for fire fighters. I'm very anxious/excited! He's been looking forward to this for over a year, but because of the deployment, he is just now taking it. I hope he places well!
     
 
 
I really should have taken the summer off. :(

I'm taking a biology class and the accompanying lab, a history (1600-present) and, beginning in July, English 102.

I don't care about any of these classes (and I'm a bio major! and I love history!). Maybe it's that my brain isn't capable of handling it in addition everything else - work, baby, adjusting to Theseus being home - especially considering how little sleep I get.

I shouldn't complain about the sleep, really, because it's certainly better than it was... still, I step into the shower exhausted every morning, fight the urge to take a nap after lunch, come home to a hungry baby and a mountain of school work and all I want to do is crawl into bed and pull the covers over my head.

A part of this is me punishing myself for not taking advantage of the two years on active duty at Fort Dix - I had AMPLE time to take classes. I could have finished my first two years of school, no problem. Now my workload is much heavier at this new job... and there's a baby...

Sorry to be so complain-y. I'm also feeling sad that T left this morning. Also it is suddenly a hundred degrees and I wasn't prepared for it. Also I'm hungry and nothing sounds good. This week has been terrible.

- Antiope

 
 
The baby is resting (finally) and I'm a zombie. I'm afraid if I fall asleep now, it will be weeks before I wake up. Also I'm starving.

Today it was over 70 degrees, which was nice.

This is the worst blog post ever. Sorry for that. :(

- Antiope

 
 
So, Theseus is gone again. 15 days was much too short. :(

He doesn't really have that much time left before he comes home for good (compared to how long he's already been gone), but that's hardly a comfort. I'm sick of staring at a calendar and bitterly counting down the days...

...this just sucks.
    
 
 
I just don't know what to say. School and all that is great. Doctor says the baby is great. Weather has been (relatively) great. When everything is great, I feel very boring.

Tomorrow is 38 weeks - next week the baby will be here. And that's great!

I'm sure I'll have more to talk about soon. Until then, sorry... being great makes me dull, I'm afraid.

- Antiope